sunday readings...

I am reading a great book.

I love it

I like to underline phrases and paragraphs I particularly enjoy

and add my own thoughts to the side. sometimes I end up underlying a whole page.

today while reading I came across a chapter I really liked 

about the dangers of love.

 yup, the dangers.

 cause lets be honest, it is dangerous.

the chapter is called, 

 A Victim of Love

 let me share some gems of knowledge I found:

"I scheduled a meeting with the father and told him the biggest challenge of his life was just ahead. You've got to love Vic in a way that allows him to be himself, I said"

Ok, background. The author is a renowned Psychiatrist who works primarily with people

who have lost all happiness in their lives.

People like celebrities, company CEO's and victims of severe tragedies.

Vic, as said above is the "fathers" son who became paralyzed after his dad encouraged him to take

up his own love for riding motorcycles. Dan Baker, the psychiatrist and author has been meeting

with him, helping him cope with the guilt he felt afterward. ok, back to the book...

"As I look back, I can see that it was appreciation for Vic that I was asking from him. Love-and I mean true love, real love-can cripple us. It can make us miserable, and even dangerous to those we love. It can make us jealous, clingy, overprotective, guilt-ridden, and even vengeful. But appreciation is pure. Its the kind of love that can let us step away, and even watch a loved one suffer, when suffering is what they need."

"I told him, as gently as I could, that he was as paralyzed emotionally as his son was physically, and that surrendering his own life and giving up on his own choices wasn't helping anybody. It was just making Vic into an invalid. And him, too. I reminded him that self-sacrifice is usually just selfishness disguised as generosity. There's almost always a hidden agenda in it somewhere (his was getting rid of his guilt)"

interesting stuff. although the thought of real love as solely hazardous is false, I do agree

with what he is saying here. love/lust/infatuation I think causes all those things he mentioned.

but I think appreciation should be the core source of real love. you appreciate

everything about that person, the good and the bad. appreciation should be the foundation.

happy sabbath.